Why do we find it so hard to say the M-word?
Top Tips For Talking About Money
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Make a time and a place for the conversation
Small things can make a difference. Pick a time when there will be no distractions and you’re both most likely to be calm. Choose a neutral place to chat, where you have things like bills and bank statements to hand.
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Understand the current state of affairs
Acknowledge and accept where you are financially. Perhaps one of you earns less than the other or has different demands on their budget, such as travel or child maintenance? Look at the whole picture.
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Understand what is important to each other
You may not always agree about what’s important to spend money on. Explaining why helps you understand each other better. If you do disagree, it may help to have individual pots of money, in addition to a shared pot.
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Work out what to share and what to keep separate
Sharing everything, keeping everything individual or a mix of the two? There is no right or wrong way. Talk to your partner about what would work best for you both and revisit the conversation later if it’s no longer working.
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Create shared goals
It’s important to talk about your financial goals. A shared goal helps you prioritise spending. Work out how to achieve this together, e.g. putting aside a certain amount towards a holiday each month.
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Build a healthy habit
Make money conversations a habit – not just something you have when things are difficult. Decide how often you should chat about money – monthly, weekly or less frequently. Change the frequency, location and approach if you need to.
What Our Listeners Have to Say
Eventually, I will have to discuss my £17,000 debt. I am paying this back, but it’s an embarrassing subject to bring up as I was young and stupid, building up debts to go on nights out.
I’m still paying off my credit card from when I was travelling, and this made my credit rating go down recently.
I would like to tell my partner that those shoes I brought home last week were not from Primark. They are in fact a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes that were on offer. I promise to wear them at every opportunity, so they are not wasted.
That I actually bought myself the expensive handbag for Christmas that I said was a gift from my sister.
I bought a £3,500 guitar with house moving money and then sold a load of stuff to top up the account. It was a very rare guitar and yes, I still have the guitar AND my partner!
